Fish babies & the largesses of our ever-friendly apartment

Indeed, things in our apartment keep on multiplying. We continually find that we have gotten much more than we paid for. The gods are generous.

At the outset I agreed to feed their 2 black-and-white mottled goldfish. Then they had 4 fish babies. Then one day I noticed another tiny fish, the "runt." Would he survive? Has he been suffering under my wayward feeding schedule? He did, so that made 7 fish.

Then one day I notiched the fish tank looking cloudier and swirlier than usual. What's this?, I wondered, and proceeded to investigate. They turned out to be the tiniest, most infantile fish babies ever. Not very far from their fish roe state. As it is, they're rather impossible to count, but there's at least 17 or 18 of them.

The fish gods weren't done with us yet. As we were cleaning the tank one algae-filled day, we found yet another hitherto-unknown fish burrowed in the gravel. He looked to be some sort of scaly, anti-social bottom-dwelling fish, keeps the tank clean and all that. He's very well ensconced.

That makes 25 or 26 fish in total. Which, you know, is making me curious about all the rampant fish sex that must be going on.

I'm also trying to name the fish, which is hard when most of them are the size of flyspecks. Being extremely decisive, I went through 5 or 6 names extremely quickly. The only one that seems to have stuck [in my memory] is Darth Vader. My fish can defeat your fish in a lightsaber duel.

(Actually, for the sake of continuity and unabashed dorkiness, I could name them all after characters singled out by FATE to be the Chosen One. The runt will have to be Harry Potter, the proud, angsty one Rand Al'Thor, and the dazed one with half a fin Frodo Baggins, and the pale, pasty fish Neo, although I don't much like Keanu Reeves at all..... But it will be a tank full of fish with Destines, and together they will rule the world!)

The Anti-Cambridge

Everyone knows I dislike TX. I work to conceal my origins, to the point that some of my friends have no idea what state I'm from. I do enjoy being mysterious. Sometimes people think I'm from New York. This always makes me happy, and I like to pretend I am, because it was my first home here. It gave me my first impressions of America, from pizza to Halloween to the beach on Fire Island (Fire Island = awesome).

Some of you try to tell me that Texas is great and wonderful.  Most of you were talking about Houston and Austin. I'd respectfully like to point out, my town is nowhere near Houston and not very awesome. In fact, Plano, with its churches and giant strip malls, is as sterile and bland as you can imagine. This is all subjective, you say, so here are some external facts:

From the National Journal:

The biggest city here now is Plano, with 241,000 people, a former farming community that became a corporate headquarters and edge city with DART light-rail service, site of mega-mansion subdivisions, the state's ninth-largest city and the new face of successful Texas. Plano is 10% Asian, many of Chinese ancestry, and they slightly outnumber Latinos: a new face of Texas.
...

Politically, Collin County is very Republican, indeed more Republican than Dallas County ever was: it cast more votes in 2004 than all but five other Texas counties, and gave 71% of them to George W. Bush.

So there it is, staunch Republican stronghold full of big corporations and ugly shopping malls and cookie-cutter franchises upon franchises. In 2004, there wasn't even a Democratic challenger to the House representative, because everyone is too smugly satisfied with their paycheck and their mutual funds and their big screen TV to want change.  If Cambridge is one of the most liberal cities in America, then Plano is the anti-Cambridge.

I know, I'm a hater. But I'll admit that the roads are good.

Dear America, meet your candidates

The problem with democracy: inevitably, stupid, prejudiced people will all want to have their say, even if they are entirely, entirely insane. And they even run for office! I could continue commenting, but we will instead let the candidates speak for themselves:

The Preacher: Bob Hart (13th district of Illinois)
Not actually a preacher, but seems to enjoy sermonizing as much as presenting the issues on his web site.

"Incidentally, it's much easier to sacrifice your child if you think he came from some other life form"

"Some other life form," refers not to aliens, but to monkeys, as in the theory of evolution. Cites evidence of giants on earth as proof of God's creation, because to him, evolution isn't working if everything gets smaller. Bigger = better. It's a pity that he doesn't actually argue against aliens as the progenitors of mankind.

Also thinks that people who believe 9/11 fulfilled a Nostradamus prophecy are completely silly—everyone should know that it fulfilled a prophecy by Ellen White, who lived in the late-19th century. She also predicted Katrina, cancer, and the AntiChrist. What does Ellen White have to do with Mr. Hart's campaign? Mr. Hart leaves that up for you to decide.

He also doesn't put much faith into doctors:

Currently, most senior citizens needs are met by medical doctors (MD's). MD's typically prescribe pharmaceuticals for illness. Most MD's are not aware of God's plan for optimal health....The specific word "sorceries" found in the King James version is called "pharmakeia" in the original Greek language. This is where we get our modern word "pharmacy". Why is there such a big push for prescription drug benefits? Does it have something to do with this modern day witchcraft that keeps prescription drug users under its spell?

For the Shire: Dan "Frodo" Litvin (51st district, California)
Endearing and nutty, he is running for Congress "as the first of many in the spirit of Frodo." Political power is the Ring, he says, and "typical politicals want the Ring." (It's the One Ring to rule them all, after all.) Washington, D.C., is Mordor, and of course, he is plucky Mr. Frodo, off to destroy the Ring and give power back to the states.

To support his campaign, you can go visit his website and buy a "Frodo for Congress" bumper sticker. There's also a can't-miss photograph of Litvin as Frodo gazing soulfully at the Ring in his hand.


The Vampire: Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey (Governor, Minnesota)
Founder of the Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans Party, "The Impaler" is a self-proclaimed vampire just like the ones in the movies. He sucks his wife's blood, hates God (but wants religious freedom for all), and thinks that all terrorists, drug dealers, and other serious criminals should be impaled in front of the state house. He may or may not also want to impale G.W.Bush. Sadly, he has lately been arrested on several charges and his official website is down.


The Lone Gunman: Dr. Jack Shepard, Lost in Italy! (4th district, Minnesota)
As I write this, Dr. Shepard is personally "agitating the terrorists emotions and exploiting the terrorists insecurities!" To ensure the safety of America from terrorists, he is sending the terroists video tapes of himself, telling them in Arabic of the dire punishment God has in store for them. He's also a fugitive from the US and has been living in Italy since 1982.


The Loving and Obedient Child of God: Tom Wells (Senate, 1st district, Florida)
Originally running for both Senate and House, Tom Wells is sadly no longer in the race. Perhaps it's because he was too picky about who can and cannot give money to him. This loving and obedient child of GOD doesn't just want anybody's money for his Family Values Party, which is more special than all the other parties because it was started at the command of GOD. Fill out the check list, sign it, and send it to Mr. Wells. Maybe he'll tell you more about that time he saw the BRIGHT LIGHT...


"Pollock" Jim Kress (Governor, Arizona)
Jim Kress wants police cars to double as taxis, 24hr. bars and nightclubs, capital punishment for all and publicly broadcasted executions, legalized marijuana and prostitution, and thousands of "completely free" bikes "all over town."


The spelling bee champ: Phillip NaPier (Governor, Maine)
Write-in candidate Napier can't spell, but he wants all of his voters to be good spellers:"You must remember how to spell my name - because you must write it on the ballot when you vote for me. Part of why you are getting what I am alerting you to is you are intelligent, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS TRUE, and you can spell!" But how can he trust us to spell a crazy foreign name like "NaPier"? He should change his name to something like "None of the Above" or "Pro-Life"—but those names are already taken by other candidates, so he'll have to think of something else both creative and witty.

The neo-Nazi: Jim Giles "for white America" (3rd district, Mississippi)
Jim Giles begins his biography with the helpful fact that his parents were white, as were both sets of grandparents. This is supposed to be part of his qualifications as a good congressman. As is the fact that he refused to grant his wife a divorce. Some helpful quotes:

"I am pro-White. I am for White People who have been forced to buy from and work at Wal-Mart. I am for White People just barely scratching out a living. I acknowledge not all 'people of color' are bad and not all white people are good. I do not wish any harm to anyone. I just want to be left alone to be happy and safe and productive. This is best accomplished by separating the races."

Yes, well, I hate Wal-Mart, too.

He also does not like political correctness and women: "Giles worked with many Ivy League graduates and many diverse ethnicities. Corporate political correctness was first implemented in places like IBM where women and non-whites receive undeserved preference."

Jim Giles is looking for 100 men of steel to "start winning again as White People." But apparently he's got more than that; in 2004 he received 40,426 votes.

So time to leave the country.

Hotness, people, hotness

It's been too long since we've had a picture! Hence I bring you Colonel Roy Mustang, hottest anime character in the universe!

Did not choose a picture of him at his best, but I happen to like this one a lot. Roy makes funny face, awww.

Here he is looking awesome with shovel and dog:


Okay, that's all :)

Perpelexed. Really.

Well—somehow I started the day with one job and ended the day with three. 02138 magazine pays me with caffeine, love, baked goods, and iTunes (all of which are good) and an occaisional check, but I do need to stay solvent for the summer. Oh yes.

It's all rather dubious, really: how can I get hired based on 1 single email, which contained nothing extraordinary, and no resume? They must be seriously desperate. It's not glamourous, if you're wondering what it is I will be writing. It is, in fact, the opposite of glamour, though I can't really insult something that I once used to use.

On an entirely random and unrelated side note, if you know that A is a sneaky little cheat, that doesn't imply anything about the character of B, if B used to go out with A, does it? Hrm.

I smell like Chinese food

Today I made espresso for the very first time in my life. Then I added milk, sugar, and ice, and it became an iced latte. I would like to say that nothing will be the same ever again, but I'm afraid that's not true.

That would be the bright spot in a morning that otherwise involved Chinese food spilling into my bag and mostly onto my leather wallet and my rent check, which I still hadn't mailed after carrying it around for days. So now I have to cross my fingers and hope that my soggy envelope doesn't somehow get mangled by the USPS and arrive in Saratoga Springs intact and legible, with a still cashable check inside. Eek. 

In other news, a Jew's harp is something you play by placing it between your teeth and twanging. Isn't that enlightening?

A conservative's idea of vacation

Reading blogs all day at work is so boring that I've decided to update my own blog. No really, I'm supposed to write a spotlight on a political blogger (class of '03, vaguely acquainted via the Indy), and hence I'm digging through all his old entries.

CVS imports their 99-cent gummy bears from Hungary but they're still distinctly subpar when compared to Gummibären. Especially the pineapple-flavored ones.

Anyway, I found this at the bottom of an AP article:

The Freedom Cruise offers the dream vacation for conservatives and policy wonks.

As the boat makes its way through the Mediterranean, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, R-Ga., will offer a political primer, Iran-Contra figure Oliver North will trade theories and Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association will speak.

Sponsored by the Freedom Alliance, the cruise will include sightseeing stops in Sicily, the Greek Isles, Turkey, Malta and Croatia.

The Freedom Cruise has been around for a decade a seaborne conservative-fest that has included the Caribbean, and the waters around Alaska and Hawaii in past years. In 2003, the cruise ship stopped at Grenada, the island invaded by U.S. troops during President Reagan's first term. A guided tour of Grenada marked the 20th anniversary of the invasion.

The price for the 10-day cruise that departs Rome Aug. 19 is $2,500 and up.

I wasn't aware that anniversaries of American aggression and invasions were occaisions for celebration. Does that mean we should expect a future Iraq cruise in the Persian Gulf or a special Land Expedition to Afghanistan, complete with stops at the caves of ancient Buddhist sculptures that, oops, got destroyed in all the bombing?

Fernweh, or the longing for the far-off.

A year ago today I was here:

Some say this is crown jewel of Bavaria, but I was far more in love with the rolling, rolling meadows, the brightest shade of green ever to see sunlight. You haven't really seen meadows until Bavaria. Or grazing cows. Or little mountain villages. Because I couldn't actually jump out the train window, in the evening I went walking in search of some cows and villages.


I think dinner that day was a few bread rolls from the supermarket. I was trying to make up for the fact that I had to spend 50 euros on train tickets that day—I first bought 1 ticket, then I had to buy another after losing it somewhere.

Next day I hit the castle, possibly the only castle anyone ever really needs to visit. Resplendent, glittering, bejeweled, but also unfinished. In the whole of that fairytale splendor, only 3 floors were completed when Ludwig II lost his throne and his life. From across the valley, day after day he watched them building his castle, and he died without ever spending a single day there.

I was here with a Cantonese guy I met in my hostel. Asian tourists love this place, but generally they travel in packs. It was pleasantly awkward in the we-just-met kind of way, though by then I had been traveling alone for so long that I would have found anyone to be interesting. He mumbled and had an amazing camera, and I got to speak some Chinese. Afterwards we climbed up the mountain behind the castle for an aerial view. Me being me, I also insisted on the "short-cut" trail, which turned out to be nearly vertical and filled with big roots and big rocks. Fun! I said, more obstacles and opportunities to scramble!


Below me is a steep drop. I like to live dangerously. I wanted to keep going up, but I had a bus to catch, to Garmisch-Partenkirchen (yes, that's all one name!), home to the Zugspitze, the tallest mountain in Germany and home to awesome hiking and skiing. But I was pressed for time and did not see the Zugspitze at all.

That's the sad thing about Let's Go, there are so many places I would go back to on my route, so many mountains I would climb, and lakes I would linger by, and villages and cities I would wander endlessly in. I would go back to the Austrian Alps - one of the most majestic, most awe-inspiring sights ever. Seeing it makes you wonder, how could there be more to life than this? Ah wait, there could be more to life if I, oh, could spend more than 3 hours here. And there's Berchtesgaden (..more Alps, but Bavarian this time), Zell am See, Hallstatt, Passau...the list goes on....and I would love to see München when the winds come, and the sky is clear enough to see the alps on the horizon. And I would drink more beer, and laugh, and tackle more mountains.

forget fireworks, what about the Fußball??

Such is the horror of America, that instead of the semi-finals of the world's most popular sporting event, golf is being shown on TV. GOLF, which must be the world's most sedate and sleep-inducing game, fit for only paunchy investment bankers and overdressed society wives. I've resigned myself to the Spanish channel for the Alemania v. Italiana game, supplemented with the live updates from BBC News. The over-excited commentator babbles onward at top-speed, with an occaisional "YES! YES! YES!" for good effect, but everything else is a complete mystery. I do regret not taking Spanish in high school like the other 90% of students in high school.

Oh, but wait, I took German, and if not for that, I may not have gone to Germany, and I would not be supporting Germany right now. No regrets, then.

[That Italian totally just leapfrogged onto the German's back!]

Of the 4 countries left in the World Cup, I've been to 3 of them (France is the exception), but my great love will always be with Germany. This is a very difficult game for me to watch. I can't bear it if they were to lose! If they leave the World Cup, I do not know if I can go on. Oh god. I need a beer. Or something. This is nervewracking.

[Does anyone else see the Budweiser ad at the side of the stadium? 百威， it says, "Budweiser" in Chinese! Terribly random and strange, not only because I had no idea that Budweiser broke into the Chinese market, but this is Germany!]

p.s. Miroslav Klose is cute :>

If only the world was on a coffee-based economic system. Then Latin America, Africa, and Southeast Asia would rule the world!

The biggest post-graduation surpise is that I may actually drink more coffee now than when studying. I have no-one else to thank but the 02138's faithful "coffee custodian" for the daily supply of free office coffee, always happily brewed by the time I wander into the office at 9:38am, 9:47am, 10:02am. Not surprisingly, the first place I head for is the kitchen.

While I wasn't getting paid for about 3 months or so, I could always cheer myself up by thinking of the coffee as my salary. The only downside to this is that the rest of the world doesn't accept this system: You can't pay rent in coffee beans. You can't buy food at the supermarket in coffee beans. In fact you can't get anything for coffee beans except pure happiness, sometimes brightened up by 1 sugar or milk.

Now we even have organic reduced-fat milk to go with the coffee, instead of plain old Hood's whole milk. An encouragement to consumption! Other exciting additions include a shiny, shiny espresso machine that sits in all its glory by the sink. It is amazing. The only drawback is that I don't know how to use it, and no one ever makes espressos in mass quantities. I have resigned myself to gazing sadly and longingly at the espresso machine. Ours is an unrequited but beautiful love. Someday, my dear.